Weird, annoying homeschooled kids
Saturday, June 9, 2012 at 11:07PM Well, I was ready to be really irritated when I read an article with the title, "Why are homeschooled kids so annoying?"
And then I read the article, and they're right.
I spend a lot of time trying to "sell" homeschooling to my family and some skeptical friends.
I emphasize the freedom, the opportunity to explore passions, the ability to go deeper into learning with each child, and how much my kids are thriving.
And I play up how wonderful my kids are. And they *are* wonderful: Bright, funny, well-behaved (most of the time,) cheerful, helpful, kind. My 11-year-old son changes diapers, empties the dishwasher, cooks dinner, does laundry and begs for more history lessons.
My 7-year-old son loves to play with his sister, is charming, engaging, crazy about his pets and can be reluctantly talked into doing occasional chores.
But you know what?
Homeschooled kids, including my own, can also be annoying. And weird.
And instead of denying it and saying, "But homeschoolers aren't weird! They're normal!," I might as well embrace it.
We've been homeschooling since Sawyer was born; we've never done a single day of "regular" school.
And, despite the fact that people worry about "socialization," we know a ton of kids. And many, if not all of them, are either weird, annoying, or both.
There are kids who never, every shut up. Mine is one of them. Sawyer wants to talk to you. About Dr. Who, about Minecraft, about World of Warcraft, about the Peloponnesian War and why it was important. He wants to discuss politics, science fiction, and Calvin and Hobbes. Mostly, though, he just wants to talk.
Which is why I'm glad there are other, equally weird kids, sprinkled throughout our homeschool group. He can go to Park Day and find someone who will listen, and they can chatter away, non-stop, about which one of them is Sparta.
That's how he describes a girl in one of his classes: "She's Sparta, and I'm Athens, and that's why we don't get along."
As if I'm supposed to know what that means; I'm not the one who just studied the Greeks, and I have no idea what the hell he's talking about.
But the kids he's friends with do. They have games that involve vampires, Dr. Who, the Greeks and Spiderman all rolled into one. His friends are just as quirky, just as passionate. Some about skating, some about math, some about game playing. But if you ask any of them what they're interested in, what their hobbies and likes are, you'll never, ever get a shrug or an "I dunno." You'll get a torrent of information that you have to back away from slowly.
Then, of course, we have Platypus Boy.
Sander's been obsessed with platypuses since he was three. I know that the plural of platypus is either platypus or platypuses because I've looked them up so often. I know that they make Vitamin C in their liver, not in their kidneys, unlike other mammals, or maybe it's the other way around. In fact, that's all I hear about. That and poop. That's his other favorite word.
And Sander can go hang out with his friends and talk and play and he's not "the weird kid." He's just Sander. And everyone knows that if you want to find Sander, you have to look up. He's in the tallest tree, barefoot, hanging out, talking to people about animals.
And Scout, our almost-two-year-old, now says, "poop," and "platypus," and fits right in.
My kids are not the only weird homeschoolers.
They have friends who are obsessed with Legos, or Minecraft, or dragons, and some who have no manners at all, and some who obviously have a screw slightly loose and might be more than just a little bit weird.
But you know what? Good for them.
Good for them for following their passions, exploring what interests them and finding people who have similar interests.
Because you know what my kids don't talk about? Justin Bieber.
Kim Kardashian.
Keisha.
What they wear.
What's "cool."
What "everybody else does."
What "they have to have, right now, because otherwise everyone will think they can't afford it."
And I'm good with that.
They don't know what the cool haircuts are, and neither do I, though I ask the lady at the haircutting place to give them a "normal kid's" haircut.
They have no idea what their "style" is. They have never read a fashion magazine, seen a show about Snooki or listened to pop music.
I just looked up the top ten songs this week.
I think I've heard the first one, "Somebody That I Used to Know," and so my kids might have heard it. I don't know any of the others, though I've heard of Justin Bieber and Kelly Clarkson, and I read about someone making fun of Niki Minaj.
My kids have no clue who any of them are. They will soon, I'm sure; Sawyer's turning 12 this summer and in the next year or so he'll discover music and I'll be an old person who doesn't know anything.
I hope he discovers some great bands, some new, and some old. I hope he loves Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin and at least gives the Beatles a chance. And I hope for my own sake that he hates hip-hop, so I don't have to hear it.
But Sawyer will choose his own style, and if his friends don't like his music, and he doesn't like theirs, it won't be a big deal -- they've all grown up knowing that they have different interests and different taste.
I'm sure if Sawyer had to walk into a sixth-grade classroom tomorrow and start school, he'd be considered a weird kid.
He thinks he knows everything. He likes to tell you you're wrong, and that he knows more about it than you do. He likes to use the word, "expert" about himself, no matter how many times I tell him that he's not, really, an expert, not even a little (although I'd say Sander is close to being a platypus expert among 7-year-olds.)
And yeah, it's kind of annoying.
But I will take annoying and weird over mainstream and dumbed-down any day.
Sawyer will learn to temper his tongue. He will. He will learn that no matter how exciting it is to share his thoughts with other people, it's exciting to hear what others think, too.
But you can't learn enthusiasm, eagerness, and passion by following the crowd.
And a kid who thinks the platypus represents everything about him isn't ever going to blend in with the crowd anyway. He's going to be a little weird, no matter what.
I might as well embrace it and go along for the ride.
Sure, my kids are weird and annoying. But that's the least of their traits. And honestly, if that's the worst thing you can say about my kids? I'll take it as a compliment.
homeschooling in homeschooling
Reader Comments (16)
LOVE LOVE LOVE! As the other of three weird homeschooled boys, I agree!!!!!!
THIS is fantastic. Thank you. Here's to honoring the "weird and annoying" things in each person we meet and especially to the ones we live with.
Love this! Celebrate the "weird"!
Great post!
Here's one my daughter wrote as a guest poster on my blog, also in response to that original post:
http://taytayhser.blogspot.com/2012/04/homeschoolers-are-weird.html
CELEBRATE WEIRD!
Karen
We home school our kids and love that they are "weird" at least they are not being exposed to the wrong stuff at public and private schools.
I love your post! But, I must admit that I look forward to the day when being real will be normal and being a mask-wearing follower will be weird.
Your kids sound just like mine, Meagan! They're AWESOME!! Mine love to play together and my oldest son who's 8 never stops talking. His passion is dinosaurs and I could definitely call him an expert.
By not being forced to conform to someone else's norm, kids learn acceptance and tolerance - things that are sadly lacking in our society.
If you think about the "weird" vs. "normal" people in society, who are the ones who do the most amazing things that the "normal" people can only talk about and admire.
Rock on Weirdo's!!!
Wonderful! I love my weirdos too! This is just what I needed to read today. Thank you so much!
Love this! As I look at my weird and endlessly engaged homeschooled kids I see their confidence. They don't need to deny who they are to fit in. We're meant to follow our passions, all the while making our inner selves coherent with the world around us. What an amazing world they're already creating.
For my 12 yo daughter it's Killer Whales. I'm sorry Orca Whales. We are not allowed to call them killers. And she is very weird. Barely speaks even when spoken to. Has read more books this week than I've read in 2 years. Definitely has her own style. Will make jewelry to match her outfit if she doesn't already have something. In our co-op newspaper they selected her as the fashion spotlight of the week. No idea how they managed that interview. I can't even get into the other two kids and their weirdness.
As the Head-Mistress of the Radiolarian Academy of Mostly Odd Boys, I wholeheartedly agree with this post.
Being isolated from public and private school influence is NOT the same as following your passions and interests! The author sounds like her home school is more 'the world is your classroom' type of expansion, not the 'the world is bad we need to isolate you from it' contracted home school experience too many fundamentalist home schools practice. I hope that your home school also fits in with the more expansive model rather than the constricting one.
It's funny how the kids are not weird and annoying to their friends. Everything is just awesome.
I completely agree with the above post. Learning that the world is your classroom means exposure to even those things you don't want your children to emulate, because sooner or later, even home schooled kids have to interact with people who weren't brought up in a free learning environment. Knowing that others have different tastes and expectations, and that it's just as ok for a kid to like Justin Beiber (who also enjoyed a very different kind of childhood than his peers) as it is to be interested in world music or indie rock, is important. You can't wrap your kid in a cocoon and then expect them to be able to make sound decisions on their own if they are naive about the way others do things. I think that some exposure to those things which we don't embrace allows for children to build skill sets that make them great decision makers through out their lives. I have sadly found that some home schoolers are more judgmental and rigid about others than some fundamentalists. I'm for a well rounded childhood, which gives kids an empathetic and compassionate outlook on personal differences.
"you can't learn enthusiasm, eagerness and passion by following the crowd"
So very true! My DS chose to go to brick & mortar school 2 years ago (after homeschooling for 8 years), and that is the essence of his experience. My criteria for him remaining in school is that he not lose his enthusiasm for learning. He finds it sad (as do I) that many of the kids just go through the motions and have lost their sense of curiosity, wonder and passion about learning.
My daughter homeschools our two grandchildren. They are consumed by learning new things and experiencing new adventures and seeing the world from different perspectives and accepting new ideas and creating unusual possibilities. Our kids love to talk about people, the world, politics, science, and on and on. They know the difference between truth and fiction, needs and wants, and love and indifference. My daughter has instilled qualities in our kids that will prepare them make difficult decisions in a very difficult world. Sometimes they can be annoying, even stubborn. But, regardless, they are good listeners and open to criticism and appreciate those who are different from them.